ang. mag. - time to start writing again.


i miss writing. 
life is SO GOOD right now.
the drama and craziness has gone away.
so - sometimes...
i feel as though i have nothing of worth to voice.

today.
i realized - non-drama/NON- life falling apart expression STILL HAS a place.
'cause a whole lot of lessons are learned as we move THROUGH the hardships and come to a place of peace.
when LIFE is good...we can STILL BE expressive.
our lives do not need to be falling apart to SPEAK OF  worth and value.
....and lend inspiration.

so.
ok.
here we go.

i am 40.
well, not really....but really.
40.
WHAT THE HECK?! 
i remember 13 years ago -  i spent time with  my STUNNING friend who was 32. 
SHE WAS so pretty - but  SO OLD - that i felt sorry for her.
isn't that crazy?
i think i was a little dumb {or simply naive and caught in my youth}.
just sayin'.

i AM BEGINNING to understand and STARTING to appreciate the beauty of age.
{it is  SO"different" when YOU are the one that is "older"} 

HERE is what I have noticed:

our HEARTS become a little more WHOLE {PERHAPS we start using ALL of it} - allowing for more OPEN space to all the things that we once thought we would never accept.

our MINDS become vessels of understanding - allowing opinions of others and their ways of life to be BEAUTIFUL instead of intimidating.

our BODIES kinda start fight against us - and give us the option of becoming stronger through succumbing to what is not fixable - or perhaps stepping up to a new awareness of what we are capable of aspiring to - finding a new awareness of "strength".

our LOVE becomes deep - OCEAN deep.  
the expectations we ONCE thought that love needed to ABIDE TO -  fall by the wayside simply because we BECOME AWARE that LOVE HAS no RULES. 
or expectations.
or illusions of perfect.
it simply exists. just love. 

always right. 
and purposeful.

we START TO LISTEN a little closer to the directions our hearts lead us.
and HOPE with everything in us it is purposeful and perfect.
{....as it alway is if you are listening.} 

WE figure out that forgiveness is not as necessary as ACCEPTING what WAS -  so we can LOVE what is.
and it really doesn't matter what HAPPENED, but what is HAPPENING.

age.
i kinda love it.
and HOPE that it continues to help me see what my heart already knows.
meshing them together. 
and lending an UNDERSTANDING beyond a doubt that this  LIFE is so very perfect through all that is UN-perfect.
...we are always "becoming" - no matter how old we are.
a little behind - and one step ahead all at the same time.
keeping us on the edge of where we are going.
remembering where we have been.
i kind love that.
a. lot.
caught in the moment. understanding the past with clarity - yet realizing that we are FREE to become SO MUCH MORE.
it is really good stuff.


embrace it.